Love・Lovers (恋愛・愛人)

Ai was born in a family of non-believers, a psuedo single-parent family where the father, when he came home, was usually in a drunken stupor and beat her and her mother. A home that was devoid of love.

Ai always thought that her name was a joke, given to her so that she would always remember that reality was so different. Her mum was finding everyday a torture, and wept from dawn to dusk. As for her, she grew up with a hole in her heart, and that hole in her heart froze over completely when her mum died when she was 13, hanging herself from the balcony, unable to bear the beatings anymore. From then on, she felt nothing, she could feel nothing.

Ever since then, she was left to fend for herself, against her father, against the world. In school, she was bullied; even the teachers were prejudiced against her.

Not because of how she looked, or perhaps because of her looks. She was not a stunning beauty, but her eyes had depth and she had presence, even though she was always silent. She was always made to sweep the classroom after school. Alone.

One day, a newcomer came to her school. His name was Ren. He had been transferred from another school, one in Kansai. He looked nondescript, but no one dared to bully him, because he was lean and looked mean, and his eyes had a simple message: "Tangle with me at your own peril" Everyone just did the reverse of what they did to Ai; they ignored him. What was what he wanted really. He was a loner, and felt happiest when left alone. Still, he could not help but feel something tugging at his heartstrings when he saw how she was being bullied.

The days passed, and for everyone, bullying Ai and ignoring Ren had become a routine. One day, Ren stayed back after school. He nonchalantly watched Ai meticulously sweep the floor, after she had closed the doors and windows to prevent dust from entering.

Perched on top of his desk, he asked her, "When you shut all the windows and seal all the doors, no wind can enter, can it?"

It was the first time he had talked to her. Even though they were classmates, even though he had noticed her the first day he came into the class. She was startled to hear his boyish yet husky voice addressing her gently in that characteristic Kansai-ben drawl of his. She mumbled something inaudible after a moment's hesitation, and continued sweeping.

He jumped off the desk, and took the broom from her. He swept the floor that she had not covered yet. Wordlessly.

Sometimes speech can be so superfluous.

From that afternoon onwards, there was a new routine. He would stay back to sweep the classroom with her. In silence mostly. Once in a while, they would talk. Usually he was the one who initiated the conversation. What did they talk about? That is for them to know.

Time flew by, and it was time for graduation. Both of them realised the implications. To him, it was a sad occasion because he had passed the entrance examination for Kyoto University, and he had to return to Kansai. He knew that he would miss her. As for her, she was going to a women's university somewhere in Tokyo. She knew that he had to leave, but she wanted him to be by her side, the way she wanted to remain at his.

"Come visit me in Kansai, and I'll bring you to eat okonomiyaki and takoyaki!"

He exclaimed excitedly, in a tone a little higher than usual. She could tell he was trying to cheer her up, so she smiled a smile a little brighter than normal.

"Sure, it'll be on you then."she teased.

On graduation day, they took a photo together. He had bought a digital camera recently, a Sony model. She teased him about its color.

"Why is it pink? Are you a girl?", she was merciless with her verbal jibes.

"Not as girl as you", he replied.

A silent, blushing face was her reply. Her silence belied her joy at his barbed compliment. She loved it when people told her she was feminine, and to hear it from him, that was... that was so special.

"Give me your address, I'll send you the photo when it is ready", he told her.

"It is...", she told him.

"Oh, you managed to get into the dormitory?", he was surprised.

"Yes, I guess I was lucky.", she said.

"You should thank your lucky star - me", he wisecracked.

"You?!Lucky star? More like 扫把星(Sao Ba Xing)!" she retorted jokingly.

~~~~

On the day that she was to move into her dormitory, to start her new independent life, he boarded the train to Kyoto. And so they left, without saying goodbye.

What were we really?, he wondered as he stared out the window at the receding landscape of Tokyo. Were we just friends? If so, why do I feel such an acute ache in my heart? A single tear rolled down his cheek, and he took out the photo of the two of them on graduation day from his left breast pocket. "Ai, Ai, Ai!!!", you could hear his heart shouting.

In her bare room in the dormitory, with her boxes and luggage yet to be unpacked, she was staring into space. Not really staring into space, but at the photo of the two of them on graduation day. He had pulled a surprise on her by asking the postman to deliver the letter on the day she moved in. She realized how much she missed him, missed his smiling face, missed his masculine scent, missed his Kansai-ben. Her eyes started tearing. In her room, silence still reigned, but in her heart, in that crimson chamber, it started raining, and if you listened carefully, you could hear the heavens crying in there, crying "Ren, Ren, Ren..."

Sometimes, the most beautiful love is left unsaid. The serenade of the silence weaves its own magical melody; someday you will know it too.