Windy Heaven...Honest Joker...

The wind is still huffing and puffing, as though it was trying to blow my place down. Too bad I am not one of the 3 little pigs; yours truly is the big bad wolf (maybe not so big, maybe not so bad).



Sometimes, have you realized that you were right, but at the same time discovered to your chagrin that knowing that you were right does not grant you the satisfaction associated with being correct.

You may think it is hindsight, you may find it incredible, but I had a hunch some time back, maybe even right at the beginning, and my hunch turned out to be right. Not that I am happy because of that. I am just a little disappointed with myself, about how it was so obvious yet I missed or should I say I ignored all the signs. Maybe it was because I was too proud to see with my heart, too proud to listen to my heart. Or perhaps it was because I just wanted to give it a shot, like the archer with his final arrow.

Still, sometimes I wonder if being human means that we will try to aim for that windy heaven, flapping our arms in a vain effort, because the wind is too strong, and we humans were not meant to fly.

H is for Honesty, J is for Joker, and it is rare to find an Honest Joker in this world of ours today.

Ocho? No, es tres. Muchas gracias!!! (^-^)

Man U did it. 5-1 to us!!!

This was the starting 11.
01 Van der Sar
05 Ferdinand
06 Brown
03 Evra
15 Vidic
16 Carrick
24 Fletcher
07 Ronaldo
17 Nani
10 Rooney
32 Tevez

Man Utd Substitutes
22 O'Shea
18 Scholes
09 Saha
29 Kuszczak
08 Anderson

Man Utd Substitutions
O'Shea for Evra (46)
Saha for Ronaldo (67)
Scholes for Vidic (74)

We won in style, we won away, we won when it mattered. We closed the gap to 3points. What seemed like a huge gap is now not that big; it just goes to show how dynamic soccer is, how dynamic this world of ours is.

We started with the deadly trio of Ronaldo, Rooney and Tevez, and the former 2 showed us how to play, with each of them grabbing 2 goals. Tevez was not really outstanding, but at least he chased after the ball, and was not a spectator.

Rooney showed again how important he is to the team not merely with his goals, but with his work rate and his selflessness. Most players would have gone for the hattrick, but not Rooney. He chose to pass to other players who appeared to be in a better scoring position. While some of them fluffed their chances, Saha did not. He did miss a few shots, but considering that he was a substitute, he did enough to justify his selection.

I cannot imagine how devastating our strike force would be if Saha was less injury-prone. Can you imagine that?

Speaking of the offense, I still think that Fernando Torres would really fit in well at Old Trafford. While it is a bit too much to say that he is wasting his time at Liverpool, I feel that his talents would be put to better use at Man U. But he probably will stay put while Benitez remains.

We should get Torres, or maybe Benzema. Benzema showed his potential with his goal for Lyon in the Champions League. So little space, so much pressure, so young he is, yet he showed so much composure to place the ball beyond the goalkeeper's reach into the back of the net. Benzema reminds me of another Frenchman, the legendary Eric Cantona.

"Au revoir". He will always be in my Man U Dream team, together with Giggs and Schmeichel. Ronaldo, Rooney, Ferdinand and Vidic will probably be in there too. The rest of the positions are still vacant for now, because my mind is going zzz...

At the rate Ronaldo and Rooney are scoring goals at the moment, you may think that we should not spend money on a forward. I beg to differ, because a good striker is priceless. Just look at Arsenal who could not finish, and Liverpool, who have Torres.

My wish for Man U is a forward like Torres or Benzema.

神様、フォワードをちょうだいね。:p

面白い...『F.A.T.E.』

C:真有趣。

J:何が？

E:Life itself.

S:Porque?

C:因為世界上有人類這種不可思議的生物。

J:そうかもしれん。

E:You and I, him and her, us and them,

S:todos están riendo.

C:笑着流涙...

E:tears of happiness...

J:幸せは 『F.A,T.E.』!

S:¿Qué es eso?

～～～～～～～『F.A.T.E.』～～～～～～～
Feeling alive in the now and here.
Appreciating everyone, everything in our lives that we are
*blessed with.
Thinking about the people we love and the people who love us.
Experiencing each and every moment of ephemeral eternity.
～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

Chance

Arsenal drew despite being one man up.
The question now is, can we gain ground?
Newcastle is the fortress we need to breach.
We have a point to prove.
By securing the three points, we can do it.
If anyone can do it, we can.

お前らを信じる。だから見せてやれ、あいつらに。最高のパフォーマンスを。

The Silence of the Seventh Song - KY

The Silence of the Seventh Song is my first attempt at writing a short story.
A story about KY. =)

~~~
9th March 2004

He was a poor songwriter, poor as in penniless, poor as in lousy. Up till now, his attempts at songwriting were labeled as worthless and all the record companies that he went to with his works regarded him with thinly-veiled derision. Of course, being Japanese, they were polite enough to start snickering only after they had sent him out the door.

He was a pseudo-NEET, part of an increasing number of young people who graduated from university but were not working full-time. He was an average student during his university days, smart enough to be in the top half of his cohort but not diligent enough to be considered the cream of the crop. Of course, he knew that he had the potential, but he did not feel like making the effort to get the straight As that would make his parents feel so proud of him. He preferred to put his head in the castles of the clouds, and compose verses and songs in his head.

He was supplementing his income from his part-time job doing translation at an insurance company by working as a waiter on weekends. The days went by, the way the seasons changed colors from red to white to pink to green and back to red again. So he continued with his mundane routine day after day, working part-time at the office translating documents and donning his waiter's uniform on weekends.

The place he worked in as a waiter was an old-fashioned Spanish restaurant where he and another part-timer, a girl studying nursing in a local women's university were the only employees besides the owner, a quirky half-Japanese half-Spanish old man, and his two full-time staff.

He was the strong, silent type, utterly reliable and never one to grumble or whine, so he got along with his colleagues, who liked him despite his tendency to have his head in the clouds sometimes. The owner took a fancy to him from the day they met when he applied for the part-time waiter's position. He treated him as though he were kin.

Despite the disparity in their age; the owner was old enough to be his grandfather, they shared common interests. Both were the type who could enjoy the company of nobody but their own shadows, and they both enjoyed sitting by the sea, listening to the lapping of the waves and gazing into space, seemingly staring at something somewhere out there, far off into the distance.

What they saw, nobody knows. Did they see the same thing, only God knows.

3rd March 2007

Before he knew it, he had been working at the restaurant for nearly 3 years. The other part-timer was relatively new, having joined only about 9 months ago. Despite their age difference of about 4 years, they could click and he treated her like his kid sister, while she would bully him and make fun of his age, calling him "Jiji". She was not exactly a head-turner, but she had this natural charm that attracted suitors like bees to honey, and the restaurant was especially crowded when it was her shift. Unlike him she worked on weekdays too (twice a week on weekdays, making it a total of four times a week). She was very popular with the male clientele, and often customers could be seen asking her for her number, which she politely declined to give, of course.

She was a medieval ice maiden, and she told him half-jokingly that her heart was frozen. Frozen by what/who, frozen since when, she wouldn't say. He did not probe, though he loved to make her laugh because he liked the sound of her laughter; he told her several times that she sounded like tinkling bells when she laughed, and he loved the way her eyes sparkled too.

Of course, they were not interested in each other romantically at first, no, that would be incest, wouldn't it? They were just 2 people who happened to click, and that was all there was to it. The days rolled by, sometimes as though the seconds were little paper airplanes zooming by so fast.

14th October 2007

It just happened one day. One day in autumn, to be exact. It was a Sunday. Their shifts were the same on that day, and he was clearing out the rubbish while she was washing the dishes. The full-time staff had left first, while the owner was feeling the effects of an autumn cold and was resting in bed upstairs. "Lock the door after you are done and I'll see you next week, Y-chan", he reminded him in a raspy voice. He locked up and found her waiting for him outside the restaurant.

"お待たせ(O matase)", he said to her.

"Let's go", she replied.

And they started strolling in the direction of the subway station, side by side. Somehow, it had become customary for them to go home together. He would send her home, to the gate of her dormitory. Although it was forbidden for guys to enter the premises, sometimes she would invite him into her room for coffee, although usually he was the one who ended up pouring the tea or Calpis for her.

According to her, one of her favorite drinks was Calpis. People who saw them from afar would think that they were a couple, but both of them did not acknowledge nor deny the fact that they were together, because in a way, they were together. Of course, he was not her girlfriend; neither was she his girlfriend. Somehow it felt more easier that way, because she preferred to keep things simple, and she wanted to enjoy her freedom. He, on his part, proclaimed that he was as though a rockman, unable to love anyone.

"Love me if you dare" was his catchphrase, and he told her half-jokingly that maybe he could never love anyone because he did not know what Love was.

"It's cold tonight", she declared.

"Well, I am the Sun, so I'm not feeling cold at all", he replied.

"The sun should have set by now, don't you think so?", she teased him.

"Well, I'm the kind of Sun that rises at midnight", he retorted.

"Humph", she mumbled and continued walking. The silence accompanied them, but it wasn't an awkward one, just something that could be felt but didn't need to be filled.

"ただいま(Tadaima)", she told him when they reached her gate.

"お帰り(Okaeri)", he returned.

Usually, he would then turn to leave, and she would go in to her dormitory, but tonight was different. The atmosphere was different, in what way though, neither of them could describe.

"待って(Wait)", she said, and suddenly he felt the impulse to just hug her, which was what he did. They embraced tightly, and that ephemeral instant seemed as though an everlasting eternity.

After that, they held hands, and he told her that her hands were cold.

She said, "Just imagine that you are holding metal bars".

He chuckled, and replied, "If you don't mind, I'll be your human heater."

She looked at him and asked, "Are you serious? You might get frozen instead."

He gazed into her pretty eyes and said, "I'll take my chances, after all I am a rockman, and rocks are tough.hahaha"

That night, they got together. Days flew past, and the crimson and orange hues of autumn were slowly fading, as the leaves fell from the trees, blown about by gusts of windy sky.

27th December 2007

Winter descended upon them. On the white streets where snowy crystalline stars were falling, they built a snowman and a snow girl, and decorated them with sticks and a scarf that they wrapped around the necks of the snowman and snow girl.

But snow melts; and somehow their feelings for each other only lasted as long as the falling snow. Or so it seemed.

Unknowingly, they started to talk less and the silences grew longer; unlike the silence of old that only needed to be felt, these were as though bottomless pits that could not be ever be filled. It was as though there was an intangible barrier that grew up of the ground like an endless row of stalagmites between them.

16th January 2008

In the end, he could not resist the urge and he asked her out to clarify matters.

"It's not the same, anymore, right? You have changed." He accused her.

Are you talking to her, or to yourself?

I am still the same, it's just that your expectations of me have changed.

"..." She remained silent, her eyes not meeting his.

Why won't she look at me? Is she hiding something?

If I told you how I felt, would you understand?

"Why won't you say anything?"
He continued, his pent-up frustration getting the better of him.

Say something, say anything so that my sense of insecurity can be eased.

Because I am so afraid that once I open my mouth, it will be the beginning of the end.
Why can't you realize that I am just a girl, and not the supergirl that I told you I was. I do like you, but I have my moments of weakness too, and when I feel uncertain about the future, about you and me, about us, I just feel like running away.

"I just want to be friends"

I knew it, something is bound to go wrong when everything seems so perfect.

Why did I say that? Now he will think I am breaking up with him after leading him on.

"Ok, if that's what makes you happy"

Who do you think you are, the hero in a Korean drama?

That's not what I wanted to hear from you.

"Goodbye then"

I have lost. To myself, so it's time to wake up.

"Bye"

For now at least. Call me again when you get home.

And so it ended, they turned and walked out of each other's lives.

He didn't call.

~~~
1st March 2008 : 1:03pm

Till that day, 2 days before her birthday, she got a call. From the police. "Are you Miss K?"

"Yes, speaking. Is anything the matter?"

"Do you know a Mr. Y?"

"Erm, yes I do."

"Could you come down to the station? We would like you to help us to confirm his identity. He was involved in a traffic accident this morning."

"..." Her room phone dangled in mid-air, two feet from the ground, two feet too far to reach.

"Moshimoshi, Miss K?"

~~~
1st March 2008 : 3:03pm

At the station

"You are sure this is him?" the police officer asked her politely.

Her expression told him the answer.

When she had calmed down sufficiently, another officer, a female one this time, came to her and said, "Here are his personal effects. He had no identification on him, other than a letter addressed to you, and this. If it makes you feel any better, he showed great courage in saving the little girl from the speeding car."

Looking at what he left her, tears started streaming down her face.

~~~
3rd March 2008 : 3:03am

In her room

The music that was being played was his favorite Aqua Timez song "千の夜を越えて".
She was reading. His final letter.

"Dear K,

Surprise!!! Happy Birthday!!! Miss me? =p

Hope you will always be as pretty and charming as the first day I talked to you. =) I was a rockman, but meeting you changed me, for the better or for the worse, I leave that up to you. All the walls that I put up to prevent myself from getting hurt again fell before you and your alluring presence; somehow you made me feel alive, that I wouldn't mind getting hurt just to feel that way. It was not too long ago that we were still happily holding hands, but now, when you are reading this, it means I can no longer be by your side physically, because there is some place that I must go to.

I still cannot forget you, so I have decided to leave. I am going to Europe, mainly Spain, for a while. I don't know when I will be back. I may go to South America too. As you know, it has always been my dream to go visit Peru and Columbia, the former for the ruins of the Indians such as Manchupicchu, and the latter because it is where my favorite author Gabriel Garcia Marquez was born.

When you read this letter, I will no longer be in Japan. But I am sure we'll meet again, someday, somewhere. When you won't feel weird, and I won't feel awkward.

The words that I did not tell you at that time are just 4 simple words, 'I love you, K'.

Why? Why didn't I tell you at that time? Maybe because of my pride, or was it my cocky confidence that reflected my sheer lack of confidence? Because I was wondering, 'Could it be true, someone like you, could love me, love me?' Still, you have never told me that you love me, and somehow I never felt that you did. Maybe, maybe we felt the same way, we cared for each other in our own ways.

Was it Love? Does it matter whether is it Love or not?

All I know is that you and I, we were happy then. Maybe we did not know what Love was, but we were happy then, weren't we? And that is what mattered, no?

All I know is that at that time, and maybe even now, you matter a lot to me, more than you know, and perhaps even more than I know. I was here, because I cared.

Things happen for a reason, but sometimes the reason may be as simple as "I want to".

I want to be with you. I hope you will remember the times that we shared, and live every moment as though it were your last, because you were the one who told me, 'we might not live to see tomorrow'. Now I'll tell you what I realized, on this day that I am writing this last letter to you before I leave.

'What matters most is making the choice to open your heart, to let in the strong yet tender, firm yet gentle wind that brings warmth into that crystalline crimson chamber. Even if you may get hurt, even if it makes you reveal how vulnerable you can be, because that is the only way to love and be loved. Too late, I realized this simple truth, but for you it is not too late.

' さようなら大好きな人、逢えて良かった！(Sayonara, daisukina hito. Aete yokatta!)PS: In case we never meet again =p, I want to let you know this: K, I love you."

Yours truly,
Y

She finished reading his letter to her, dated 03:03am, 1st March 2008, the day he left this world to join the angels in their eternal chorus somewhere up there, and she smiled, with shimmering eyes that reflected the happiness in her heart, because she felt his love that was like a cushion that warmed her in the coldest nights, providing her with enough light to see the photo of the two of them on her wall.

The photo that was found in his wallet together with the letter when they examined his body after the accident. He had shielded the little girl with his body, and the truck had hit him head-on. It was amazing that he managed to retain consciousness after the impact. What was more surprising was that the first thing he asked was, "The little girl, is she alright? Take good care of her."

The way he had always been there for her, like a guardian angel. Thanks to him, the little girl was unscathed. However, he did not make it. He left Japan before he could reach Europe, before he could visit the ruins of Manchupicchu. Maybe he left it too late. Then again, maybe it is not too late. At least, not for the little girl, and not for her.
~~~
What matters most is making the choice to open your heart, to let in the strong yet tender, firm yet gentle wind that brings warmth into that crystalline crimson chamber.

Jay Chou in Tokyo Concert Part 3

Among the songs performed, these are some of my favorite lyrics.

不能説的秘密
你説把愛漸漸 放下會走更遠
或許命運的箋 只讓我們遇見
只讓我們相戀 這一季的秋天
飄落後才發現 這幸福的碎片
要我怎麼撿

退後
離開妳以後　並沒有　更自由
酸酸的空氣　嗅出我們的距離
榨乾了回憶　那笑容　是夏季
妳我的過去　被順時針的忘記
缺氧過後的愛情　粗心的眼淚是多餘

我知道妳我都沒有錯
只是忘了怎麼退後
信誓旦旦給了承諾
卻被時間撲了空

我知道我們都沒有錯
只是放手會比較好過
最美的愛情　回憶裡待續

麦芽糖
我牵著你的手经过 种麦芽糖的山坡香
浓的诱惑 你脸颊微热 吐气在我的耳朵
摘下麦芽糖熟透 我醒来还笑著
开心的 被黏手 我满嘴 都是糖果

蒲公英的約定
与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清
你是友情
还是错过的爱情

聽媽媽的話　
聽媽媽的話　別讓她受傷
想快快長大　才能保護她
美麗的白髮　幸福中發芽
天使的魔法　溫暖中慈祥

最長的電影
愛是不是不開口才珍貴
再給我兩分鐘 讓我把記憶結成冰
別融化了眼淚 妳妝都花了 要我怎麼記得記得
妳叫我忘了吧 記得妳叫我忘了吧
妳說妳會哭不是因為在乎

安靜
我想你已表現的非常明白
我懂我也知道 你沒有捨不得
你說你也會難過我不相信
牽著你陪著我 也只是曾經
希望他是真的比我還要愛你
我才會逼自己離開

你要我說多難堪開 我根本不想分開
為什麼還要我用微笑來帶過
我沒有這種天份 包容你也接受他
不用擔心的太多 我會一直好好過

你已經遠遠離開開 我也會慢慢走開
為什麼我連分開都遷就著你
我真的沒有天份 安靜的沒這麼快
我會學著放棄你 是因為我太愛你

千里之外
梦醒来是谁在窗台把结局打开
那薄如蝉翼的未来经不起谁来拆
我送你离开千里之外 你无声黑白
沉默年代 或许不该太遥远的相爱
我送你离开天涯之外 你是否还在

夜曲
為你彈奏蕭邦的夜曲　紀念我死去的愛情
跟夜風一樣的聲音　心碎的很好聽
手在鍵盤敲很輕　我給的思念很小心
你埋葬的地方叫幽冥
為你彈奏蕭邦的夜曲　紀念我死去的愛情
而我為你隱姓埋名　在月光下彈琴
對你心跳的感應　還是如此溫熱親近
懷念你那鮮紅的唇印

七里香
窗外的麻雀 在電線桿上多嘴
你說這一句 很有夏天的感覺
手中的鉛筆 在紙上來來回回
我用幾行字形容你是我的誰

秋刀魚 的滋味 貓跟你都想瞭解
初戀的香味就這樣被我們尋回
那溫暖 的陽光 像剛摘的鮮艷草莓
你說你捨不得吃掉這一種感覺

雨下整夜 我的愛溢出就像雨水院子落葉
跟我的思念厚厚一迭幾句是非 也無法將我的熱情冷卻
你出現在我詩的每一頁

雨下整夜 我的愛溢出就像雨水窗台蝴蝶
像詩裡紛飛的美麗章節我接著寫 把永遠愛你寫進詩的結尾
你是我唯一想要的瞭解

那飽滿 的稻穗 幸福了這個季節而你的臉頰像田裡熟透的蕃茄
你突然 對我說 七里香的名字很美
我此刻卻只想親吻你倔強的嘴

迷迭香
你的嘴角 微微上翹 性感的無可救藥
想像不到 如此心跳 你的一切都想要

開不了口
才離開沒多久就開始 擔心今天的妳過的好不好
整個畫面都是妳 想妳想到睡不著
嘴嘟嘟那可愛的模樣 還有在妳身上香香的味道
我的快樂是妳 想一想的微笑

沒有妳在 我有多難熬 (沒有妳在我有多難熬多煩惱)
沒有妳煩 我有多煩惱 (沒有妳煩我有多煩惱多難熬)

穿過雲層 我試著努力向妳奔跑愛才送到 妳卻已在別人懷抱
就是開不了口讓她知道 我一定會呵護著妳也逗妳笑
妳對我有多重要 我後悔沒讓妳知道安靜的聽妳撒嬌 看妳睡著一直到老

就是開不了口讓她知道 就是那麼簡單幾句我辦不到
整顆心懸在半空 我只能夠遠遠看著這些我都做得到 但那個人已經不是我

彩虹
哪裡有彩虹告訴我
能不能把我的願望還給我
為什麼天這麼安靜
所有的雲都跑到我這裡

有沒有口罩一個給我 釋懷說了太多就成真不了
也許時間是一種解藥 也是我現在正服下的毒藥
看不見妳的笑 我怎麼睡得著
妳的聲音這麼近我卻抱不到

沒有地球太陽還是會繞
沒有理由我也能自己走
妳要離開 我知道很簡單
妳說依賴 是我們的阻礙
就算放開
但能不能別沒收我的愛
當作我最後才明白

陽光宅男
對了對女生用心疼　 約會要等　講笑話不能悶　
別太冷　像我一樣就剛好 對愛的人　接吻要深　
擁抱要真　來電顯示給個甜蜜的昵稱

Jay Chou Concert in Tokyo Part 2

Jay Chou’s concert was awesome. The special guests were Nanquan Mama who sang 笑着流泪, 湘南海鸥and What can I do. The segments in which various instruments were used were entertaining. These included the erhu, the samisens, the drums, the piano, and the violins. I especially liked the piano segment, which pitted Jay against one of the members of Nanquan Mama, reminiscent of the scene in Secret, and the violins instrumental version of蒲公英的約定. While some of the songs were new to me, everything was awesome, and I enjoyed every moment of the concert. The concert was nearly 3hours long, and my friends and I did not really notice that time had elapsed, so engrossed were we in enjoying the concert.

I was impressed with his piano, the way he played and sang Mika Nakashima’s 雪の華, and the 桃太郎song. haha In addition, his Japanese was not bad, especially when he managed to mimic Kojima Yoshio’s そんなの関係ない！ Boy, were we tickled pink!!! One disappointing thing was the translator. She was not up to the task. While my friends and I do not consider ourselves language experts, we agreed that we could have done better with the translation.

同時通訳はやっぱりレベル高いね。でも面白そうだね。

Jay sang the following songs, not necessarily in the order in which the concert proceeded. I cannot really remember. lol
黃金甲
无双
最後的戰役
不能説的秘密
退後
麦芽糖
蒲公英的約定 （Instrumental）
牛仔很忙
聽媽媽的話
黑色幽默
最長的電影
雪の華
桃太郎
安靜
千里之外
青花瓷
本草綱目
夜的第七章
夜曲
迷迭香
忍者
飄移
開不了口
七里香
彩虹
陽光宅男
周大侠
霍元甲
雙截棍

Jay Chou Concert in Tokyo Part 1

The Jay Chou concert was my 2nd concert in Tokyo. It was great!!!It was awesome!!! He had great stage presence, and while the atmosphere was not as electrifying as that of B'z in Tokyo Dome 3 years ago, I enjoyed myself tremendously. The choice of songs was superb, and my friends and I, not to mention the hordes of mainly female fans were thrilled and entertained by Jay and his entourage.

I will elaborate on the songs and other details in a future entry. In the meantime, let the photos speak on my behalf. :)

Jay Chou in Tokyo

Jay Chou Concert Venue - 日本武道館

Friends - Singaporean, Malaysian, Malaysian

Friends - Malaysian, Indonesian, Singaporean

Yours truly acting Cool when it was really Cold

How much do you really want it?

A question that I keep on asking. Today, Man U showed me the answer in emphatic fashion, with a comprehensive 4-0 victory over Arsenal in which we dominated throughout the full 93minutes without Ronaldo and Giggs.

The significance of the return of Rooney cannot be overstated; We have yet to lose in every game in which he makes an appearance.

While Rooney was crucial in this victory, I think Nani played a great game. His close control and passing were sublime, even though he only got on the scoresheet once. Sublime is a word I have not used in a long time. But the Man U of today were sublime, and 4-0 is flattering for Arsenal. We could have scored at least double that, if not double digits.

Seriously, both teams were hampered by injuries to players in all departments, but I guess we coped better. Maybe we had a bigger point to prove, since we had lost the Manchester derby and are trailing in 2nd place in the League.

In any case, we showed that we have the pedigree of champions, even if we or rather Ferguson took a gamble by resting Giggs and Ronaldo. I have to say that Nani, Anderson, Fletcher and of course Rooney performed admirably. Fletcher amazed me with his goals. Playing for Scotland has really matured him.

On the other hand, one cause of concern was Park Ji Sung. He never really threatened the Arsenal defence, and I feel that he is performing below-par. Saha on the other hand, did everything right during his limited time on the pitch; he was unlucky enough not to get a goal. Of course, luck and skill are interwoven threads, so maybe his rustiness was the reason for his inability to get a goal.

On the whole, Man U did a great job and hopefully we can build on this and generate enough momentum to get the Treble.

How much do we really want it? How much do we really want the Treble? If this match is an indication, then our hunger is as though that of a ravenous wolf that has not fed for eternity.

Winning is good, but winning in style is even better.

20th of February...

The 20th of February will be the day my favorite band, B'z, releases its highly-anticipated LIVE DVD!!! I can't wait!!!(Actually I have been waiting since last month.lol) The songs performed in that Live concert are listed below.

もうすぐ、B'zのDVDが発売される。このような曲が入っている。絶対手に入れる！

ALL-OUT ATTACK
juice
ピエロ,
ネテモサメテモ
ゆるぎないものひとつ
Real Thing Shakes
DEVIL
Brighter Day
TAK'S SOLO
雨だれぶるーず
HOME
MONSTER
衝動
愛のバクダン
LOVE PHANTOM
ギリギリChop
SPLASH!
RUN

L is for...

On Valentine's Day, most people would think that L is for Love, that four letter word starting with L. For me, L is simply for L, my favorite character in the Death Note series.

I had a date with L today, at the cinema. Even though the story was predictable and the plot was linear, as a movie on its own, "L Change the World was" pretty good in terms of providing entertainment. By entertainment, I do not mean mindless entertainment as in those forgettable movies that you watch and forget the instant you step out of the theatre. This was a movie that had some touching moments, and I liked the characters, especially the little boy and little girl.

This is a movie that made me feel something stir in that crimson crystal in my left breast pocket.

This is a movie that made me think about life and its myriad possibilities.

On the other hand, I think most of the girls who went to watch this movie went to see L. Indeed, this was probably a movie that milked L's boyish good looks to the fullest. Even a straight guy like me thought he was cool, so I guess it's to be expected.

I will not spoil the movie for those who are going to watch it by revealing the details, but suffice it to say that this was a movie that made me think about some things.

Like the way we tend to value genius more than effort.
Like the way we tend to believe that our way is the right way.
Like the way we tend to only focus on what we want to see, what we want to hear, what we want to believe in.

The little boy and L, the little girl and L, the three of them had great chemistry. The scenes where silence ensued, these were not deserts of awkward quiet, these were oases of meaningful tranquility. I liked the way their eyes talked, the way their body language conveyed their messages to each other and to the audience.

Back to my title, L is for...
L is for...Lack, a Lack of chemistry.
L is for... Lost, I lost to myself, the day that door closed.
L is for ... Late, too Late I realized what I was missing.
L is for... Life, and my Life story is still being written.
L is for... Look, Look with your heart, and you'll find what you really want.

Talent

I hate to admit it, but some people really have a talent for writing. God is one of them. God's latest story is great; maybe it should be made into a movie, or a drama.

Sometimes, I wish I could write like that.

Catalyst

In chemical reactions, a catalyst is a substance that alters the rate of reaction, usually by speeding up the process, and improving the yield of the products of the reaction.

While it is a good-to-have, what is more important is the ingredient, or what we call the reactants. We must never mix up the reactant with the catalyst, or vice-versa. True, credit must be given to the catalyst for speeding up the rate, but please remember that if we had no reactants in the first place, there would be no reaction, no matter how good/powerful/awesome the catalyst is.

We must not forget the basics of chemistry, which is to ensure that the chemical reaction is a balanced one. Regardless of how different the products formed may be from the initial reactants, regardless of whether the catalyst is involved or not, balance is essential.

A good researcher/scientist is one who keeps that in mind.

A matter of choice

Sometimes, by choosing not to choose, we have already made our choice. You can choose to stay, you can choose to leave, you can even choose not to choose, yet more often than not, we have already made the choice in our hearts, even though we say we have not decided yet. Our mouths can spout lies, and maybe we can fool people with our eyes by drawing the blinds that prevent outsiders from looking into the windows to our souls, but our hearts cannot lie, can they?

How about you? Given a choice, would you choose not to choose? What does your heart really say?

Contradiction Conflux

That is the title of one of my poems, and it seems to describe me and many people I know aptly. Being human, we all tend to contradict ourselves. We say one thing and mean the reverse, we do one thing and mean the opposite.

Sometimes, I think I am like a ship, sailing the seven seas, in search of treasure, which may lie at the bottom of the sea. Or maybe I am searching for my Ariel, or for that fabled Atlantis. What is it that makes us keep seeking, that compels us to carry on our search for something whose identity sometimes eludes even ourselves? Nobody knows, but what I do know is, even a freedom-loving fool like me sometimes yearns for a harbor that I can call at when I am enervated. A place where I can recharge my drained batteries, a place that calls me home.

A place where the stars are tinkling in the night breeze, a place where the angels are holding hands and dancing, a place where people can see me with their hearts instead of with their tinted glasses.

Sleepless in Sydney

No, I have not been to Sydney before, but if I were there now, I guess I would be the same as I am here now in Tokyo, sleepless in the city of Eternal Lights.

I am not sure if I am tired, but I know that I am not sleepy. Ueno Zoo might soon get an addition to its panda collection, but I don't care. All I know is that someone like me is a classic case of Contradiction Conflux. There are some things that I know I should be doing, but I am not doing them. There are some things that I want to do, but I am not doing them yet.

Is the first step so hard? Sometimes, or rather, most of the time, it is all about me, isn't it? Am I willing to take the first step? The door is right in front of me. Dare I open it? Dare I enter the world that lies beyond? What do you know, maybe I have already opened the door, maybe I am already in that world, just that I am still unaware of it myself.

How about you? Are you willing to take the first step?

CNY & CKY

Happy CNY , which stands for Happy Chinese New Year!!!
This is the 6th year in a row that I am spending CNY away from home. This year though, I managed to have 2 psuedo reunion dinners with Singaporeans. The first one was in Todai, and the second one was in Shibuya. Both were fun, and I guess it feels great to be able to speak a mixture of Chinese, English, and even Singlish with some Japlish thrown in for good measure. lol

The second part of my title is CKY, which is Japanese for Chou Kuki Yomenai （超空気読めない）, and if you call someone CKY, it means that he or she is totally oblivious to his or her surroundings, and cannot read the expressions of those around him/her. In other words, he/she is tactless and cannot discern the signs dished out by those around him/her.

While most of the people around me are not CKY, I do know of one or two who are really CKY. They are thick-skinned enough to invite themselves to events organised by other people even though the organiser did not invite them, or they will ask the organiser "Why am I not invited?", as though it was his/her birthright. If we did not invite you, obviously it is because you have our reasons, and you should be smart enough to figure it out. Must we spell everything out in black and white for you?

Although sometimes it is good to get things off your chest, I should not talk about this anymore because it would spoil my mood on such a joyous occasion, it being CNY, and I am actually very happy because the pineapple tarts which my mum sent me will be arriving soon. :)

Some people prefer bak kwa（肉干）, but yours truly here prefers pineapple tarts. Hope I can control myself so that I don't finish them all at one shot. (>_<) On such a happy note, I get ready to go to sleep, and hopefully I will dream of pineapple tarts. hahaha

Happy but not Content

I am happy with the contents of this blog, but I am not content with the layout and color scheme. I changed it to the new Harbor theme, but somehow the old Black scheme seemed nicer.

Still, I am happy with my blog's contents. There's a person's blog which has the layout that I like a lot, simple yet elegant, and I think the design is very cool yet not too complicated. Nonetheless, I won't copy his design, because I want to retain my originality.

Today my friend talked to me a little, and we discussed the books we are reading. I am really happy when someone understands why I like Gabriel Garcia Marquez's books. It is cool to know that someone shares the same interests.

Now I have so many booooks to read, and also some stuff from my professor, that I can pile up a mini Mount Everest on my desk.lol

It gets interesting when you have so many things to do.

Flawless...

What is perfection?

I like this advertisement, because it poses a question similar to what I have been asking myself. What is perfection? What happens if perfection is merely a limit? Would you still seek it?

Vaya con Dios? Quizas...

Little snowmen looking up at the invisible Sun

Somehow time seems to have flown past, such that there are so many things that I feel like writing about, yet before I can put pen to paper, or in this case, finger to keyboard, the thoughts and ideas seem to have vanished somewhere, as though playing a game of hide-and-seek with yours truly.

While it is still fresh, I will write about the 3rd time it snowed in Tokyo. It snowed heavily today, and as long as you were indoors, the snow was like a surreal scene, pretty and even enchanting, but it was like watching the big cats in the zoo, you safe behind the glass walls that shielded you from their paws and jaws. In this case, the cold of the snow could not be felt, not if you were not out there.

Whee!!!Slide in Shinjuku

I went out, braving the cold to make my way to Shinjuku. I had an appointment to keep. I went to see the tiger in its lair. As if. :p To tell the truth, I went to see God in his abode - the church. Now you may wonder, why would a free thinker like me need or want to go to church? To tell the truth, I am not sure either.

Maybe faith alone is not enough, or maybe I am just seeking something that only that Greater/Higher Power can provide. The answers that I am seeking, I have not found them yet. Maybe the time is not ripe yet, or maybe I am simply not asking the right questions. In any case, it was good to go to church again. The church that I went to does not have a magnificent chapel or anything fancy; nonetheless the atmosphere is cosy and the pastor is funky. The people welcome me with open arms even though I am a free thinker. I am thankful for that, really, and whatever the outcome, I know that I will continue to go there to listen to God's messages, even if I remain a free thinker, because sometimes, what is important can only be seen with the heart, can only be heard with the heart.



Snowman sentinel guarding the path

Like the songs that are sung during the service, when many of the Christians close their eyes and sing with their hearts, can't we just close our eyes and feel the music of Life with our hearts?

Life is fragile, life is fleeting, life is full of ups and downs, but never, never ever say that life is futile. Because life is sacred, and life is a cycle that transcends the seasons. Spring and Summer are the seasons that remind people of the vibrancy of Life, yet we often forget that even during Autumn, the crimson and orange and yellow hues of leaves that form the flowery shawls of the mountains actually provide nutrients for the buds and seeds that hibernate during the chilly and seemingly lifeless season of Winter when the merciless North Wind blows.

One place where Life can be seen dancing with its similar twin Death is the hospital, and that is where I went today after visiting God. I went to visit my friend who had been hospitalized. He has some problems with his liver, and he sounded lonely, so I brought books for him to read and bought flowers to brighten up his room. He was on the drip, so he could not eat solid food. According to him, what he thought was a simple bout of flu turned out to be much more serious, so he had to be hospitalized. If things go well, he will be discharged in 2 weeks' time. I'll keep praying for him.

As I also had a fever and flu-like symptoms around the same time as him, I was quite shocked when I heard his experience. It is at times like this that I keenly feel the fragility of life, mine included. Fortunately for me, my immune system managed to fight off the fever and flu, and I am more or less okay. This is probably due to the fact that I am still young, so my body can still bear the brunt of influenza virus attacks.

But youth, like life, is not eternal, right? Maybe so, but even so, we can still stay young at heart, stay green, and stay in touch with our inner child, to retain our sense of awe and curiosity even as we grow up, even as we grow older and hopefully wiser.